In The Face Of Stress May 09 2015 2 Comments

First, I’d like to apologise for the radio silence in the last few months.  Going back to a full time job and the changes in my lifestyle meant less time for this part of me enjoying what I love most. Each day’s energy was drained by 7pm and all I wanted to do was to veg out.

Last week was a particularly stressful week for me. One particular person taunted me so much for weeks it wore me down. Other projects came in, deadlines, everything was due at the same time. It got to a point I was sitting at the desk with clenched fists, stabbing pain in the chest and wanting to fling everything through the glass of the office building.  Yes. Everything. Laptop, desk phone, my mobile. Any communication device just needed to be hurled out.

I cut short my lunches trying to squeeze in more time. Nights were sleepless. Obviously turning up in the morning at the office like a zombie didn’t help.

Why was I doing this to myself?? As a cancer survivor, no one knows better than us to take life easier…don’t let it get to you…eat healthy and exercise…la dee da blah blah blah.  We KNOW the drill.

As the week went by, I was consumed with hate. It did nothing to him, but did a lot to myself. At times, I had chats with other colleagues, I was temporarily distracted back to my cheery self.  But at other times, I just wanted to kill him.

Catching me being like that was an important step. Knowing that I was reaching breaking point, I’m even more determined not to break.

The people around me know what I’m going through. And they understood, which meant a lot to me because I know I’m emotionally supported. I’ve allowed them to help me, and not fight alone.

I'm renewing myself this weekend, taking things slowly, also making some jewellery to calm the mind.

How will the next week be? I don’t know. But I’m making a conscious effort to let go of the negativity every time it creeps up. Looking forward to the light at the end of this tunnel. Wish me luck!